No one wants to be around a person with a bad attitude. Life is hard enough without listening to someone constantly complaining in your ear. I know a man who is in the habit of being angry and miserable that it is his first reaction to everything even good news. When great things happen, he finds something to be upset about. Unfortunately, this was modeled to him as a child, so it was probably a learned response. Perhaps no one ever showed him how to enjoy life. But allowing the past to control today is still a choice he makes. Because of that, not only will he never be happy, but neither will those around him. We don't want to be that kind of person, nor do we want to live with one.
Without naming names, let me assure you that I am an expert when it comes to praying about it instead. It has paid off, but I'm still perfecting this mode of operation. Every time I prayed for a spirit of joy to arise in this person's heart, I saw visible changes and my reaction was better as well. An angry, dour, unforgiving, negative person can get that way for various reasons. He stays that way because of a stubborn will that refuses to receive God's love. The Bible says we have a choice as to what we will allow into our heart ( Psalm 101:4), and whether we will harden it to the love of God or not ( Proverbs 28:14). We choose our attitude. We choose to receive the love of the Lord. We permit an attitude of thankfulness to rise in us.
If your husband allows himself to wallow in a consistently bad attitude, it will make a good marriage miserable, and a shaky marriage intolerable. A habit of responding negatively will adversely affect every aspect of his life. Of course you can't rule over your husband's will, but you can pray that his will lines up with God's. Pray that his heart becomes pure, because the Bible promises a person who has a pure heart will see God ( Matthew 5:8) and have a cheerful countenance ( Proverbs 15:13). ( Who doesn't wish her husband could see God and have a cheerful countenance?) Pray for his heart to be filled with praise, thanksgiving, love, and joy, because " a good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things" ( Matthew 12:35). Even if there are no major changes immediately, he is certain to be softened by your prayers. And that, at least, can give you a better attitude while you wait for his to improve.
Prayer:
Lord, fill ( husband's name) with Your love and peace today. May there be a calmness, serenity, and a sense of well-being established in him because his life is God-controlled, rather than flesh-controlled. Enable him to walk in his house with a clean and perfect heart before You ( Psalm 101:2). Shine the light of Your Spirit upon him with Your love.
I pray that he will be kind and patient, not selfish or easily provoked. Enable him to bear all things ( 1 Corinthians 13:7). Release him from anger, unrest, anxiety, concerns, inner turmoil, strife, and pressure. ( Proverbs 15:13), but enjoy the continual feast of a merry heart ( Proverbs 15:15). Give him a spirit of joy and keep him from growing into a grumpy old man. Help him to be anxious for nothing, but give thanks in all things so he can know the peace that passes all understanding. May he come to the point of saying, " I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content" ( Philippians 4:11). I say to ( husband's name) this day " The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace" ( Numbers 6:24-26).
Power Tools:
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. ( Philippians 4:6,7)
Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. ( Ezekiel 18:31)
Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls. ( Proverbs 25:28)
Though I have the gift of prophecy, and understanding all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ( 1 Corinthians 13:2)
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. ( Psalm 100:4)
Showing posts with label power of a praying wife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label power of a praying wife. Show all posts
Saturday, February 3, 2018
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
His Past
Michael was nineteen when he collapsed from nervous exhaustion. He was attending college full time during the day and writing, arranging, playing piano and drums in local clubs in the afternoons and evenings. He had high stress, little sleep, and was rapidly working himself to death. The family doctor suggested he be placed in a nearby mental hospital where he could get the rest he needed. His mother later told me that she and the doctor regretted that decision, but at the time they didn't know what else to do. Michael described his two weeks of " rest" there as the most frightening experience of his life. He observed so much strange and horrifying behavior in the other patients that it traumatized him with fear that he might never get out. He went back to college with a less-stressful work schedule, but also great fear.
Throughout the years we've been married, there have been times when he was so overworked and pressured that he experienced that same kind of exhaustion. It always reminded him of what had happened when he was a teenager. The past would come upon him like a specter and threaten him with the thought, You're going to end up in a mental hospital again. It's been at those times, he said, that my prayers for him have meant the most. I always prayed that he would know the truth, and the truth, and the truth would set him free ( John 8:32). I prayed for God to deliver him from the past. This has been a gradual process, but I saw strides forward every time I prayed.
The past should not be a place where we live, but something from which we learn. We are to forget " those things which are behind" and reach " forward to those things which are ahead," and we're to " press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" ( Philippians 3:13,14). God is a redeemer and a restorer. We need to allow Him to be both. He can redeem the past and restore what was lost. He can make up for the bad things that have happened ( Psalm 90:15). We must trust Him to do things. We can never move out of the present into the future of what God has for us if we cling to and live in the past.
Your husband's past not only affects him, it affect your offspring as well. More is passed down to your children and grandchildren than just the color of your hair and eyes. We can leave a legacy as painful and damaging as the one we experienced ourselves. We can bequeath a heritage of divorce, anger, anxiety, depression, and fear, to name a few. Whatever you and your husband can free yourselves from will mean more freedom for them. As long as you dwell in the past, you not only lose some of what God has for your future, but for your children's future as well.
The events of your husband's past that most affect his life today probably occurred in his childhood. Bad things that happened or good things that didn't happen with family members are the most significant. Being labeled in a certain way by a relative or peer carries over into adulthood. Such words as " fat," " stupid," " uncoordinated," " failure," " poor," " loser", " slob," " four-eyes," " slow," or " idiot" take their toll and imprint themselves into the mind and emotions well into adulthood. While no one can pretend the past didn't happen, it's possible to pray that all the effects of it are removed. No one is destined to live with them forever.
God says we are to cry out for deliverance, walk in His ways, proclaim His truth, and then we will find freedom from our past. But sometimes there are levels of freedom to go through. Your husband may think he's gotten free of something and it will rear its head again, leaving him feeling like he's right back where he started. Tell him not to be discouraged by that. If he has been walking with the Lord, he is probably moving into a deeper level of liberty that God wants to work in his life. Your prayers will surely gird him for the journey to greater freedom.
Being set free from the past can happen quickly or it can be a step-by-step process, depending on what God is teaching. The problem is, you can't make it happen on your timetable. You have to be patient and pray for as long as it takes to keep the voices of the past at bay so that your husband can make the decision to not listen to them.
Prayer:
Lord, I pray that You would enable ( husband's name) to let go of his past completely. Deliver him from any hold it has on him. Help him to put off his former conduct and habitual ways of thinking about it and be renewed in his mind ( Ephesians 4:22,23). Enlarge his understanding to know that You make all things new ( Revelation 21:5). Show him a fresh, Holy Spirit-inspired way of relating to negative things that have happened. Give him the mind of Christ so that he can clearly discern Your voice from the voices of the past. When he hears those old voices, enable him to rise up and shut them down with the truth of Your Word. Where he has formerly experienced rejection or pain, I pray he not allow them to color what he sees and hears now. Pour forgiveness into his heart so that bitterness, resentment, revenge, and unforgiveness will have no place there. May he regard the past as only a history lesson and not a guide for his daily life. Wherever his past has become an unpleasant memory, I pray You would redeem it and bring life out of it. Bind up his wounds ( Psalm 147:3). Restore his soul ( Psalm 23:3). Help him to release the past so that he will not live in it, but learn from it, break out of it, and move into the future You have for him.
Power Tools:
Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. ( Isaiah 43:18,19)
If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. ( 2 Corinthians 5:17)
Put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and ....put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness. ( Ephesians 4:22-24)
Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. ( 2 Corinthians 4:16)
God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying; and there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. ( Revelation 21:4)
Throughout the years we've been married, there have been times when he was so overworked and pressured that he experienced that same kind of exhaustion. It always reminded him of what had happened when he was a teenager. The past would come upon him like a specter and threaten him with the thought, You're going to end up in a mental hospital again. It's been at those times, he said, that my prayers for him have meant the most. I always prayed that he would know the truth, and the truth, and the truth would set him free ( John 8:32). I prayed for God to deliver him from the past. This has been a gradual process, but I saw strides forward every time I prayed.
The past should not be a place where we live, but something from which we learn. We are to forget " those things which are behind" and reach " forward to those things which are ahead," and we're to " press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" ( Philippians 3:13,14). God is a redeemer and a restorer. We need to allow Him to be both. He can redeem the past and restore what was lost. He can make up for the bad things that have happened ( Psalm 90:15). We must trust Him to do things. We can never move out of the present into the future of what God has for us if we cling to and live in the past.
Your husband's past not only affects him, it affect your offspring as well. More is passed down to your children and grandchildren than just the color of your hair and eyes. We can leave a legacy as painful and damaging as the one we experienced ourselves. We can bequeath a heritage of divorce, anger, anxiety, depression, and fear, to name a few. Whatever you and your husband can free yourselves from will mean more freedom for them. As long as you dwell in the past, you not only lose some of what God has for your future, but for your children's future as well.
The events of your husband's past that most affect his life today probably occurred in his childhood. Bad things that happened or good things that didn't happen with family members are the most significant. Being labeled in a certain way by a relative or peer carries over into adulthood. Such words as " fat," " stupid," " uncoordinated," " failure," " poor," " loser", " slob," " four-eyes," " slow," or " idiot" take their toll and imprint themselves into the mind and emotions well into adulthood. While no one can pretend the past didn't happen, it's possible to pray that all the effects of it are removed. No one is destined to live with them forever.
God says we are to cry out for deliverance, walk in His ways, proclaim His truth, and then we will find freedom from our past. But sometimes there are levels of freedom to go through. Your husband may think he's gotten free of something and it will rear its head again, leaving him feeling like he's right back where he started. Tell him not to be discouraged by that. If he has been walking with the Lord, he is probably moving into a deeper level of liberty that God wants to work in his life. Your prayers will surely gird him for the journey to greater freedom.
Being set free from the past can happen quickly or it can be a step-by-step process, depending on what God is teaching. The problem is, you can't make it happen on your timetable. You have to be patient and pray for as long as it takes to keep the voices of the past at bay so that your husband can make the decision to not listen to them.
Prayer:
Lord, I pray that You would enable ( husband's name) to let go of his past completely. Deliver him from any hold it has on him. Help him to put off his former conduct and habitual ways of thinking about it and be renewed in his mind ( Ephesians 4:22,23). Enlarge his understanding to know that You make all things new ( Revelation 21:5). Show him a fresh, Holy Spirit-inspired way of relating to negative things that have happened. Give him the mind of Christ so that he can clearly discern Your voice from the voices of the past. When he hears those old voices, enable him to rise up and shut them down with the truth of Your Word. Where he has formerly experienced rejection or pain, I pray he not allow them to color what he sees and hears now. Pour forgiveness into his heart so that bitterness, resentment, revenge, and unforgiveness will have no place there. May he regard the past as only a history lesson and not a guide for his daily life. Wherever his past has become an unpleasant memory, I pray You would redeem it and bring life out of it. Bind up his wounds ( Psalm 147:3). Restore his soul ( Psalm 23:3). Help him to release the past so that he will not live in it, but learn from it, break out of it, and move into the future You have for him.
Power Tools:
Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. ( Isaiah 43:18,19)
If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. ( 2 Corinthians 5:17)
Put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and ....put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness. ( Ephesians 4:22-24)
Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. ( 2 Corinthians 4:16)
God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying; and there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. ( Revelation 21:4)
Tuesday, January 30, 2018
His Fatherhood
When I asked my husband to share with me his deepest fears, one of the things he mentioned was the fear of not being a good father. " I believe it's something men in general tend to fear, " he said. " We get so caught up in doing what we do in our work that we're afraid we haven't done it well enough with our children. Or we're afraid we haven't done it well enough, or we're missing something. It becomes even more of a problem with teenagers. We fear we can't communicate with them because we'll be perceived as old and irrelevant."
I was touched by his perspective and resolved to pray for him to be a good father. I believe my prayers made a difference because I saw him become more patient with our children and less insecure about his own parenting skills. He grew increasingly relaxed and able to enjoy them. He became less guilt-ridden or angry when it was necessary to discipline them and more able to speak wisdom powerfully into their lives. He now sees that any flaw in our children is not necessarily a reflection of his value as a father.
Thoughts of failure and inadequacy are what cause so many fathers to give up, leave, become overbearing from trying to hard, or develop a passive attitude and fade into the background of their children's lives. It can be especially overwhelming to a man who already feels like a failure in other areas. Mothers get overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy, too, but only most deeply disturbed ever abandon, ignore, or hurt their children. That's because we have the opportunity from the moment of conception to pour so much of ourselves into our children's lives. We carry them in the womb, we nurse and nurture them as newborns, we guide and teach and love them so much that we have a full sense of bonding from the start. Fathers don't have that privilege and often feel they are starting on the outside, trying to work their way in. If they are also spending a great amount of time and energy trying to establish their careers, they can easily feel hoplessly removed and ineffectual. Our prayers can help redeem this situation.
Have you ever had someone pray for you when you couldn't think straight, and after they prayed you had complete clarity and vision? I've experienced that countless times. I believe this is what can happen for our husbands when we pray about their parenting. If they are tortured with doubt and burdened by a sense of responsibility, we can minimize these feelings with our prayers. Prayer can help them gain a clear perspective of what it means to be a good father, and open the door to Holy Spirit guidance on how to handle the parenting challenges that arise.
My husband recalled a specific incident where he knew my prayers for him regarding his fatehrhood had made a big difference. It happened when our son, Christopher, was about seven and we had caught him in a lie. We knew we had to deal with it, but we wanted a full confession from him along with a repentant heart. Neither was forthcoming at that moment. Michael wanted to teach him a lesson but didn't know what to do, so he asked me to pray. While I was praying, it became very clear to him. As CHris watched, Michael drew a triangle and a picture of Satan, God, and Christopher, one at each of the points. He then described Satan's plan for Chris, and God's plan for Chris. He illustrated how lying was part of Satan's plan that Chris was going along with. He described in detail the ultimate consequences of going along with Satan's plans--which meant traveling on a spectrum away from God--and it shook Christopher up so badly that he broke down and confessed the lie with a completely repentant heart. Michael said he knew that without that clear picture from God he would not have been able to get through to his son with the depth he needed to.
The best way for a man to be a good father is to get to know his heavenly Father and learn to imitate Him. The more time he spends in the Lord's presence, being transformed into His likeness, the better influence he will be when he spends time with his children. He will have a father's heart because he understands the Father's heart. This can be difficult if your husband didn't have a good relationship with his earthly father. The way a man relates to his dad will often affect how he relates to his Father God. If he was abandoned by him, he may fear being abandoned by God. If his father was distant or uncaring, he may see God as distant and uncaring. If he doubted his father's love, he may doubt his heavenly Father's love. If he is angry with his father, he may be angry with his Father God as well. Events of the past with regard to his own dad can serve as a barrier that keeps him from truly knowing the Father's love. This will carry over into his relationship with his children.
Pray that your husband grows into a greater understanding of his heavenly Father's love and be healed of any misconceptions he has in his heart and mind about it. Where his father has failed him and he has blamed God, ask the Lord to heal that enormous hurt. The bible says, " Whoever curses his father or mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness." ( Proverbs 20:20) Unless forgiveness happens in his heart for his dad, he will be in the dark as to how to be the best father for his children. His father doesn't have to be alive in order to right that relationship, because it's what is in his own heart regarding his dad that matters. Pray that he will gain a right attitude toward his earthly father so nothing will stand in the way of his relationship with his Father God.
Men don't always realize how important they are to their children. They sometimes feel they are only there to provide materially for them. But the importance of a father's influence can never be underestimated. How he relates to his children will shape their lives for bad or for good. It will change his life forever, too. For if he fails as a father, he will always carry that sense of failure with him. If he succeeds, there will be no greater measure of success in his life.
Prayer:
Lord, teach ( hsubands name) to be a good fatehr. Where it was not modeled to him according to Your ways, heal those areas and help him to forgive his dad. Give him revelation of You and a hunger in his heart to really know You as his heavenly Father. Draw him close to spend time in Your presence so he can become more like You, and fully understand Your Fatehr's heart of compassion and love toward him. Grow that same heart in him for his children. Help him to balance mercy, judgment, and instruction the way You do. Though You require obedience, You are quick to acknowledge a repentant heart. Make him that way too. Show him when to discipline and how. Help him to see that he who loves his child disciplines him promptly ( Proverbs 13:24). May he never provoke his " children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" ( Ephesians 6:4). I pray we will be united in the rules we set for our children and be in full agreement as to how they are raised. I pray that there will be no strife or argument over how to handle them and the issues that surround their lives.
Give him skills of communication with his children. I pray he will not beeeeee stern, hard, cruel, cold, abusive, noncommunicative, passive, critical, weak, uninterested, neglectful, undependable, or uninvolved. Help him instead to be kind, loving, soft hearted, warm, interested, affirming, affectionate, involved, strong, consistent, dependable, verbally communicative, understanding, and patient. May he require and inspire his children to honor him as their father so that their lives will be long and blessed.
Lord, I know we pass a spiritual inheritance to our children. Let the heritage he passes on be one rich in the fullness of Your Holy Spirit. Enable him to model clearly a walk of submission to Your laws. May he delight in his children and long to grow them up Your way. Being a good father is something he wants very much. I pray that You would give him the desire of his heart.
Power Tools:
Children's children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father. ( Proverbs 17:6)
For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights. ( Proverbs 3:12)
The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in him. ( Proverbs 23:24)
Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul. ( Proverbs 29:17)
I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almight. ( 2 Corinthians 6:18)
I was touched by his perspective and resolved to pray for him to be a good father. I believe my prayers made a difference because I saw him become more patient with our children and less insecure about his own parenting skills. He grew increasingly relaxed and able to enjoy them. He became less guilt-ridden or angry when it was necessary to discipline them and more able to speak wisdom powerfully into their lives. He now sees that any flaw in our children is not necessarily a reflection of his value as a father.
Thoughts of failure and inadequacy are what cause so many fathers to give up, leave, become overbearing from trying to hard, or develop a passive attitude and fade into the background of their children's lives. It can be especially overwhelming to a man who already feels like a failure in other areas. Mothers get overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy, too, but only most deeply disturbed ever abandon, ignore, or hurt their children. That's because we have the opportunity from the moment of conception to pour so much of ourselves into our children's lives. We carry them in the womb, we nurse and nurture them as newborns, we guide and teach and love them so much that we have a full sense of bonding from the start. Fathers don't have that privilege and often feel they are starting on the outside, trying to work their way in. If they are also spending a great amount of time and energy trying to establish their careers, they can easily feel hoplessly removed and ineffectual. Our prayers can help redeem this situation.
Have you ever had someone pray for you when you couldn't think straight, and after they prayed you had complete clarity and vision? I've experienced that countless times. I believe this is what can happen for our husbands when we pray about their parenting. If they are tortured with doubt and burdened by a sense of responsibility, we can minimize these feelings with our prayers. Prayer can help them gain a clear perspective of what it means to be a good father, and open the door to Holy Spirit guidance on how to handle the parenting challenges that arise.
My husband recalled a specific incident where he knew my prayers for him regarding his fatehrhood had made a big difference. It happened when our son, Christopher, was about seven and we had caught him in a lie. We knew we had to deal with it, but we wanted a full confession from him along with a repentant heart. Neither was forthcoming at that moment. Michael wanted to teach him a lesson but didn't know what to do, so he asked me to pray. While I was praying, it became very clear to him. As CHris watched, Michael drew a triangle and a picture of Satan, God, and Christopher, one at each of the points. He then described Satan's plan for Chris, and God's plan for Chris. He illustrated how lying was part of Satan's plan that Chris was going along with. He described in detail the ultimate consequences of going along with Satan's plans--which meant traveling on a spectrum away from God--and it shook Christopher up so badly that he broke down and confessed the lie with a completely repentant heart. Michael said he knew that without that clear picture from God he would not have been able to get through to his son with the depth he needed to.
The best way for a man to be a good father is to get to know his heavenly Father and learn to imitate Him. The more time he spends in the Lord's presence, being transformed into His likeness, the better influence he will be when he spends time with his children. He will have a father's heart because he understands the Father's heart. This can be difficult if your husband didn't have a good relationship with his earthly father. The way a man relates to his dad will often affect how he relates to his Father God. If he was abandoned by him, he may fear being abandoned by God. If his father was distant or uncaring, he may see God as distant and uncaring. If he doubted his father's love, he may doubt his heavenly Father's love. If he is angry with his father, he may be angry with his Father God as well. Events of the past with regard to his own dad can serve as a barrier that keeps him from truly knowing the Father's love. This will carry over into his relationship with his children.
Pray that your husband grows into a greater understanding of his heavenly Father's love and be healed of any misconceptions he has in his heart and mind about it. Where his father has failed him and he has blamed God, ask the Lord to heal that enormous hurt. The bible says, " Whoever curses his father or mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness." ( Proverbs 20:20) Unless forgiveness happens in his heart for his dad, he will be in the dark as to how to be the best father for his children. His father doesn't have to be alive in order to right that relationship, because it's what is in his own heart regarding his dad that matters. Pray that he will gain a right attitude toward his earthly father so nothing will stand in the way of his relationship with his Father God.
Men don't always realize how important they are to their children. They sometimes feel they are only there to provide materially for them. But the importance of a father's influence can never be underestimated. How he relates to his children will shape their lives for bad or for good. It will change his life forever, too. For if he fails as a father, he will always carry that sense of failure with him. If he succeeds, there will be no greater measure of success in his life.
Prayer:
Lord, teach ( hsubands name) to be a good fatehr. Where it was not modeled to him according to Your ways, heal those areas and help him to forgive his dad. Give him revelation of You and a hunger in his heart to really know You as his heavenly Father. Draw him close to spend time in Your presence so he can become more like You, and fully understand Your Fatehr's heart of compassion and love toward him. Grow that same heart in him for his children. Help him to balance mercy, judgment, and instruction the way You do. Though You require obedience, You are quick to acknowledge a repentant heart. Make him that way too. Show him when to discipline and how. Help him to see that he who loves his child disciplines him promptly ( Proverbs 13:24). May he never provoke his " children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" ( Ephesians 6:4). I pray we will be united in the rules we set for our children and be in full agreement as to how they are raised. I pray that there will be no strife or argument over how to handle them and the issues that surround their lives.
Give him skills of communication with his children. I pray he will not beeeeee stern, hard, cruel, cold, abusive, noncommunicative, passive, critical, weak, uninterested, neglectful, undependable, or uninvolved. Help him instead to be kind, loving, soft hearted, warm, interested, affirming, affectionate, involved, strong, consistent, dependable, verbally communicative, understanding, and patient. May he require and inspire his children to honor him as their father so that their lives will be long and blessed.
Lord, I know we pass a spiritual inheritance to our children. Let the heritage he passes on be one rich in the fullness of Your Holy Spirit. Enable him to model clearly a walk of submission to Your laws. May he delight in his children and long to grow them up Your way. Being a good father is something he wants very much. I pray that You would give him the desire of his heart.
Power Tools:
Children's children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father. ( Proverbs 17:6)
For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights. ( Proverbs 3:12)
The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in him. ( Proverbs 23:24)
Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul. ( Proverbs 29:17)
I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almight. ( 2 Corinthians 6:18)
Monday, January 29, 2018
His Relationships
Isolation is not healthy. We all need the influence of good people to keep us on the right path. Every married couple should have at least two strong believing couples with whom they can share encouragement, strength, and the richness of their lives. Being around such people is edifying, enriching, balancing, and fulfilling, and it helps us keep persepective when things seem to grow out of proportion. Having the positive qualities of other people rub off on us is the best thing for a marriage.
I remember one time when Michael and I had an argument just before we were to be at another couple's house for dinner. On the drive there we sat in stiffened silence, and all I could think about was how we could possibly get through the evening gracefully without making the other couple very uncomfortable. When we arrived, the warmth, love, and rich godliness we felt from them infected our thoughts and emotions. Soon we were laughing and talking and having a great time, forgetting about what had transpired previously. What those two people had was not just a " let the good times roll" party spirit. It was the joy of the Lord, and it wore off on us.
We've witnessed the exact same thing happen in reverse. There have been numerous instances when a couple in the midst of maritial strife came to our house for dinner and went away with peace in their hearts. One particular couple even called just before they were to arrive--when the dinner was completely ready--to say they'd just had a bad argument and couldn't possibly be enjoyable guests. I told them we completely understood, having experienced the same thing ourselves, but that we wanted them to come, even if they sat in silence all night. " Besides, you do need to eat," I said. " If necessary you can sit at opposite ends of the table." It took some persuading, but they came and it turned out to be a highly enjoyable evening for all. We even ended up laughing about what transpired earlier and they left hand and hand.
Being good friends with godly people who love the Lord doesn't just happen by chance. We must pray that such people will come into our lives. And then when we find them, we should continue to cover the relationships in prayer. We should also pray the bad influences awa. The Bible says we must " not be unequally yoked together with unbelivers" ( 2 Corinthians 6:14). This doesn't mean we can never be around anyone who isn't a Christian, but our closet, most influential relationships should be with people who know and love the Lord, or there will be consequences. " The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray." ( Proverbs 12:26). That's why it's very important to have a church home where it's possible to meet the kind of people you need. Choose to be around the highest quality people you can, the ones whose hearts are aimed toward God.
Pray also for your husband to have godly male friends. And when he finds them, give time to be with them without criticism. Those friends will refine him. " As iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens the countenance of his friend." ( Proverbs 27:17). They will be a good influence. " Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man's friend does so by hearty councel." ( Proverbs 27:9) Of course if it becomes obsessive, pray for balance.
After we had children, Michael worked every day and night during the week and on weekends he spent spare time on the golf course or at baseball and football games with his friends. There were many bitter arguments about that, but no changes happened until I started praying that God would convict him and turn his heart toward home. God did a much better job that I ever could have.
Often men have fewer close friends than women because of the way their time is consumed with establishing their careers. They don't take the necessary steps to develop close friendships like we do. That's where prayer can make a difference. Even if your husband is not a believer, you can still pray for him to have godly friends. A close friend of mine has a husband who doesn't follow the Lord and we have prayed many times for him to have godly friends and be in contact with believers where he works. God has now brought so many strong Christians into his life that we laugh about how the Lord has him surrounded.
Pray about all of your husband's relationships. He needs to have good relationships with his parents, brotehrs, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, co-workers, and neighbors. Pray that none of his relationships be marred by his inability to forgive. A husband who is tortured with unforgiveness is not a pretty sight.
Prayer:
Lord, I pray for ( husband's name) to have good, godly male friends with whom he can openly share his heart. May they be trustworthy men of wisdom who will speak truth into his life and not just say what he wants to hear ( Proverbs 28:23). Give him the discernment to separate himself from anyone who will not be a good influence ( 1 Corinthians 5:13). Show him the importance of godly friendships and help me encourage him to sustain them. Give us believing married couples whom we can feel comfortable sharing our lives.
I pray for strong, peaceful relationships with each of his family members, neighbors, acquaintances, and coworkers. Today I specificall pray for his relationship with ( Name of Person). Inspire open communication and mutual acceptance between them. Let there be reconcilliation where there has been estrangement. Work peace into anything that needs to be worked out.
I pray that in his heart he will honor his father and mother so that he will live long and blessed in his life ( Exodus 20:12). Enable him to be a forgiving person and not to carry grudges or hold things in his heart against others. Lord, You've said in Your Word that " he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes" ( 1 John 2:11). I pray that my husband would never be blinded by the darkness of unforgiveness, but continually walk in the light of forgiveness. May he not judge or show contempt for anyone but remember that " we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ" ( Romans 14:10). Enable him to love his enemies, bless those who curse him, do good to those who hate him, and pray for those who spitefully use him and persecute him ( Matthew 5:44). I pray that I will be counted as his best friend and that our friendship with one another will continue to grow. SHow him what it means to be a true friend and enable him to be one.
Power Tools:
Let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is themanner of some, but exhorting one another. ( Hebrews 10:24,25)
If you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. ( Matthew 5:23,24)
If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another. ( 1 John 1:7)
Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, " I repent," you shall forgive him. ( Luke 17:3,4)
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this you will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. ( John 13:34,35)
I remember one time when Michael and I had an argument just before we were to be at another couple's house for dinner. On the drive there we sat in stiffened silence, and all I could think about was how we could possibly get through the evening gracefully without making the other couple very uncomfortable. When we arrived, the warmth, love, and rich godliness we felt from them infected our thoughts and emotions. Soon we were laughing and talking and having a great time, forgetting about what had transpired previously. What those two people had was not just a " let the good times roll" party spirit. It was the joy of the Lord, and it wore off on us.
We've witnessed the exact same thing happen in reverse. There have been numerous instances when a couple in the midst of maritial strife came to our house for dinner and went away with peace in their hearts. One particular couple even called just before they were to arrive--when the dinner was completely ready--to say they'd just had a bad argument and couldn't possibly be enjoyable guests. I told them we completely understood, having experienced the same thing ourselves, but that we wanted them to come, even if they sat in silence all night. " Besides, you do need to eat," I said. " If necessary you can sit at opposite ends of the table." It took some persuading, but they came and it turned out to be a highly enjoyable evening for all. We even ended up laughing about what transpired earlier and they left hand and hand.
Being good friends with godly people who love the Lord doesn't just happen by chance. We must pray that such people will come into our lives. And then when we find them, we should continue to cover the relationships in prayer. We should also pray the bad influences awa. The Bible says we must " not be unequally yoked together with unbelivers" ( 2 Corinthians 6:14). This doesn't mean we can never be around anyone who isn't a Christian, but our closet, most influential relationships should be with people who know and love the Lord, or there will be consequences. " The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray." ( Proverbs 12:26). That's why it's very important to have a church home where it's possible to meet the kind of people you need. Choose to be around the highest quality people you can, the ones whose hearts are aimed toward God.
Pray also for your husband to have godly male friends. And when he finds them, give time to be with them without criticism. Those friends will refine him. " As iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens the countenance of his friend." ( Proverbs 27:17). They will be a good influence. " Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man's friend does so by hearty councel." ( Proverbs 27:9) Of course if it becomes obsessive, pray for balance.
After we had children, Michael worked every day and night during the week and on weekends he spent spare time on the golf course or at baseball and football games with his friends. There were many bitter arguments about that, but no changes happened until I started praying that God would convict him and turn his heart toward home. God did a much better job that I ever could have.
Often men have fewer close friends than women because of the way their time is consumed with establishing their careers. They don't take the necessary steps to develop close friendships like we do. That's where prayer can make a difference. Even if your husband is not a believer, you can still pray for him to have godly friends. A close friend of mine has a husband who doesn't follow the Lord and we have prayed many times for him to have godly friends and be in contact with believers where he works. God has now brought so many strong Christians into his life that we laugh about how the Lord has him surrounded.
Pray about all of your husband's relationships. He needs to have good relationships with his parents, brotehrs, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, co-workers, and neighbors. Pray that none of his relationships be marred by his inability to forgive. A husband who is tortured with unforgiveness is not a pretty sight.
Prayer:
Lord, I pray for ( husband's name) to have good, godly male friends with whom he can openly share his heart. May they be trustworthy men of wisdom who will speak truth into his life and not just say what he wants to hear ( Proverbs 28:23). Give him the discernment to separate himself from anyone who will not be a good influence ( 1 Corinthians 5:13). Show him the importance of godly friendships and help me encourage him to sustain them. Give us believing married couples whom we can feel comfortable sharing our lives.
I pray for strong, peaceful relationships with each of his family members, neighbors, acquaintances, and coworkers. Today I specificall pray for his relationship with ( Name of Person). Inspire open communication and mutual acceptance between them. Let there be reconcilliation where there has been estrangement. Work peace into anything that needs to be worked out.
I pray that in his heart he will honor his father and mother so that he will live long and blessed in his life ( Exodus 20:12). Enable him to be a forgiving person and not to carry grudges or hold things in his heart against others. Lord, You've said in Your Word that " he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes" ( 1 John 2:11). I pray that my husband would never be blinded by the darkness of unforgiveness, but continually walk in the light of forgiveness. May he not judge or show contempt for anyone but remember that " we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ" ( Romans 14:10). Enable him to love his enemies, bless those who curse him, do good to those who hate him, and pray for those who spitefully use him and persecute him ( Matthew 5:44). I pray that I will be counted as his best friend and that our friendship with one another will continue to grow. SHow him what it means to be a true friend and enable him to be one.
Power Tools:
Let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is themanner of some, but exhorting one another. ( Hebrews 10:24,25)
If you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. ( Matthew 5:23,24)
If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another. ( 1 John 1:7)
Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, " I repent," you shall forgive him. ( Luke 17:3,4)
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this you will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. ( John 13:34,35)
Thursday, January 25, 2018
His Priorities
Men have many different ideas about what their priorities should be. But every wife feels she should be at the top of he husband's list-right there under God. I've found , however, that if a wife wants her husband's priorities to be in that kind of order, sha has to make sure hers are in that order as well. In other words, if you want your husband to place you as priority over work, children, friends, and activities, you need to do the same for him. I God and spouse aren't clearly top priorities in your life, your husband will have less incentive to make them so in his. I know very well about the struggle to keep order of priorities, especially if there are little ones in the picture. Children's needs are immediate and urgent and you're the one to take care of them. A husband, after all, is an adult and hopefully can take care of himself. Even if there are no children, it's possible to be consumed by work, home, friends, projects, interests, and activities. It's hard, in the midst of everything that occupies your time and attention not to allow your husband to fall down on the list-or at least feel as though he has.
Fortunately, priorities don't always have to do with the total amount of time spent on them, otherwise anyone with a forty-hour work week would be putting God second to their job unless he or she was praying at least eight hours a day. And there is no way a wife can give as much time to her husband as she does to a young child without neglecting the child. When it comes to your husband, it's not so much a matter of how much time you take, but that you do take the time to make him feel like he is a priority.
Just greeting him first thing in the morning with a smile and a hug can make him feel he's important to you. so is asking him, " Is there anything you want me to do for you today?" ( And then he tells you, remember to do it.) Also, let him know you are praying for him and ask what he specifically wants you to pray about. Even checking in with him periodically in the midst of the many other things you are doing assures him he's still at the top of your list.
Priorities have to do with the position in the heart. Planning times for just the two of you-a date, a night or two away, a dinner alone, time in the home without any children or friends-communicates to him that he is a priority in your heart. If you want your husband to love you more, you need to love him more. It always works, especially if you're praying about it as well.
If you feel that you just don't have the time and or energy to put your husband first and still do all that's expected of you, ask God for a fresh filling of His Holy Spirit. Seek Him first and He will help you get your priorities in order. If your schedule doesn't allow time to be with God and draw on His strength, then rework your priorities and make a new schedule. The old one is not working.
In the business my husband is in, we often see people experience success quickly. The problem with that is a spirit of lust for more success, more power, and more wealth usually comes along with it. When these people don't make a special effort to keep their priorities in order, their pride guides them, and they buy into its lure. They slip into overdrive, leaving God, family, church, and friends in their dust. When these shooting stars come back to earth, the landing is often hard. We don't want that to happen, even on a small scale, to our husbands. Pray for your husband to always put God first, you second, and the children third. Then, no matter what else is going on in his life, his priorities will be in order and there will be greater peace and happiness ahead for both of you.
Prayer:
God, I proclaim You Lord over my life. Help me to seek You first every day and set my priorities in perfect order. Reveal to me how to properly put my husband before children, work, family, friends, activities, and interests. Show me what I can do right now to demonstrate to him that he has this position in my heart. Mend the times I have caused him to doubt that. Tell me how to prioritize everything so that whatever steals away, or has no lasting purpose, will not occupy my time.
I pray for my husband's priorities to be in perfect order as well. Be Lord and Ruler over his heart. Help him to choose a simplicity of life that will allow him to have time alone with You, Lord, a place to be quiet in Your presence every day. Speak to him about making Your Word, prayer and praise a priority. Enable him to place me and our children in greater prominence in his heart than career, friends, and activities. I pray he will seek You first and submit his all to You, for when he does I know the other pieces of his life will fit together perfectly.
Power Tools:
Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. ( Matthew 6:33)
Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. ( Philippians 2:4)
No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. ( Matthew 6:24)
The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it. ( Matthew 13:45,46)
You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve. ( Matthew 4:10)
Fortunately, priorities don't always have to do with the total amount of time spent on them, otherwise anyone with a forty-hour work week would be putting God second to their job unless he or she was praying at least eight hours a day. And there is no way a wife can give as much time to her husband as she does to a young child without neglecting the child. When it comes to your husband, it's not so much a matter of how much time you take, but that you do take the time to make him feel like he is a priority.
Just greeting him first thing in the morning with a smile and a hug can make him feel he's important to you. so is asking him, " Is there anything you want me to do for you today?" ( And then he tells you, remember to do it.) Also, let him know you are praying for him and ask what he specifically wants you to pray about. Even checking in with him periodically in the midst of the many other things you are doing assures him he's still at the top of your list.
Priorities have to do with the position in the heart. Planning times for just the two of you-a date, a night or two away, a dinner alone, time in the home without any children or friends-communicates to him that he is a priority in your heart. If you want your husband to love you more, you need to love him more. It always works, especially if you're praying about it as well.
If you feel that you just don't have the time and or energy to put your husband first and still do all that's expected of you, ask God for a fresh filling of His Holy Spirit. Seek Him first and He will help you get your priorities in order. If your schedule doesn't allow time to be with God and draw on His strength, then rework your priorities and make a new schedule. The old one is not working.
In the business my husband is in, we often see people experience success quickly. The problem with that is a spirit of lust for more success, more power, and more wealth usually comes along with it. When these people don't make a special effort to keep their priorities in order, their pride guides them, and they buy into its lure. They slip into overdrive, leaving God, family, church, and friends in their dust. When these shooting stars come back to earth, the landing is often hard. We don't want that to happen, even on a small scale, to our husbands. Pray for your husband to always put God first, you second, and the children third. Then, no matter what else is going on in his life, his priorities will be in order and there will be greater peace and happiness ahead for both of you.
Prayer:
God, I proclaim You Lord over my life. Help me to seek You first every day and set my priorities in perfect order. Reveal to me how to properly put my husband before children, work, family, friends, activities, and interests. Show me what I can do right now to demonstrate to him that he has this position in my heart. Mend the times I have caused him to doubt that. Tell me how to prioritize everything so that whatever steals away, or has no lasting purpose, will not occupy my time.
I pray for my husband's priorities to be in perfect order as well. Be Lord and Ruler over his heart. Help him to choose a simplicity of life that will allow him to have time alone with You, Lord, a place to be quiet in Your presence every day. Speak to him about making Your Word, prayer and praise a priority. Enable him to place me and our children in greater prominence in his heart than career, friends, and activities. I pray he will seek You first and submit his all to You, for when he does I know the other pieces of his life will fit together perfectly.
Power Tools:
Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. ( Matthew 6:33)
Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. ( Philippians 2:4)
No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. ( Matthew 6:24)
The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it. ( Matthew 13:45,46)
You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve. ( Matthew 4:10)
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